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Dark Ridge Reporter - March 2015 edition

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Dark Ridge Reporter - March 2015 edition

Post by Admin on Sat Mar 14, 2015 1:36 am

Police enforcement action during downtown ‘March of the Leprechauns’ event nets three DWI arrests
DarkRidge Police “STOP DWI” enforcement patrols in downtown Red Light District during the March of the Leprechauns event on St. Patrick’s day resulted in three DWI arrests, according to a Riverhead Town Police press release.
A fourth person was arrested for aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle, police said.
Riverhead Police officers made a total of 36 vehicle stops in the enforcement action in the downtown area, according to the report. The action took place yesterday afternoon and evening.
Charged with DWI, police said, were: John Egert, 31; Barbara Langhorne, 58; and George Wise, 66.
Roberto Chamale Boror, 29, was charged with aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle in the second degree, police said.

Dark Ridge Fire Department collecting toys, books for Good Deeds Day
The Dark Ridge Fire Department is collecting new toys and books for the Clothes Closet as part of Good Deeds Day Sunday, March 15.
Materials can be dropped off at the Dark Ridge Fire Department between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m.
“Dark Ridge is such a generous community, I know Good Deeds Day will be a huge success,” City Manager Jaymes Vettraino said in a press release. “The event is also a great opportunity for the community to get a sneak peek at the new fire station.”
Items of need include character dolls, remote-control toys, building sets, doctor kits, science kits, nail polish, arts & crafts kits, sports equipment. Returnable cans and bottles can be donated.
The event will also include children’s activities and tours of the newly renovated fire station.
Good Deeds Day is an international event with more than 500,000 participants in more than 50 countries, according to the release.
The Clothes Closet is a program of the Dark Ridge Area Neighborhood House.
For more information, contact the Dark Ridge Downtown Development Authority at (999) 656-0060.


Crime Writers, Leprechauns, and Warehouse Parties
We're looking out for you, Dark Ridge tightwads. Here's another jam-packed week of free fun. You know it's going to be a good week when St. Paddy's Day falls on hump day. Hey-O!
Monday: If you missed Saturday's art walk, stop in to galleries with new exhibitions this week. This week, you can see the "Goody Two Shoes" exhibit, may those glass slippers fit, if you know what I mean.

Tuesday: We heard something about the Devil and idle hands so keep Beelzebub at bay a little longer by learning how to knit at Sweat Records' Knit Knite. Score some free lessons at 7 p.m.

Wednesday: Whether or not your heritage stems from the Emerald isle, take part in the St. Patrick's Day Street Party outside The Drunken Lamb Pub. Drink Beer, listen to a U2 cover band, and eat homemade Bailey's ice cream.
Thursday: Hear all about how Dark Ridge's whack job criminals inspired a surge of local crime and mystery fiction at the Crime Stories of the City panel. Authors like Edna Buchanan will discuss their craft and the insanity that is our city. The third Thursday events at the Historical Museum are always free.

Friday: Hunt down an old warehouse in Little Haiti to hear Ice Cream, a local band we recently described as "one part bad trip sing-along and one part hippie freak-out." There's no cover charge, 'cause it's in a random warehouse.


Scandal rocks Dark Ridge’s newest Contracting company.
Ethan Pierce, the front man for the Cumberland Contracting company has been accused of many things in his lifetime, but this past month it felt like the world was bearing down on him full force. Last night on the nightly news, a reporter ripped into him and his multi-million dollar corporation accusing him of everything from sex scandals to bribery and drug trafficking. The validity of these claims is yet to be seen, but we got a chance to talk to Ethan Pierce personally and as expected, he denies all of the rumors.
“It is obvious that someone is out to get me and my company. None of these rumors have any validity. I have been nothing but cooperative with the bombardment of police, health inspectors, permit inspectors, and other bureaucratic red tape that has hindered my business this past month. If any of these investigators were able to find a single shred of truth to these rumors, they would have shut me down. As you can see, we are still operational. We offered all of our employees full paid vacation days for the days that he company was closed down. Cumberland Contracting is a national corporation. We have offices in a number of cities up and down the eastern seaboard. We strive to provide high quality services and employment. I assure you, my lawyers are looking into this sudden bombardment and we won’t let it affect our company. Whoever is out to get us, well, all we can say bring it on. We’ve got nothing to hide.”

Sharks in the Shadowlake Bay
An increasing number of reports of sharks in the Shadowlake bay over the past few months has citizens on edge. “Seven Sails yacht club” owner Tristan Debeaux said that several of his boats have been put into the shop for repairs after Sharks battered the side of one boat puncturing holes in the hull, and another had a large bite ripped out of it. What are these sharks doing in the bay, and why are they attacking boats?
Marine Biologist Victor Polinchek says that sharks have been known to attack humans when they are confused or curious. If a shark sees a human splashing in the water, it may try to investigate, leading to an accidental attack.

“Sharks attack and kill 10 humans per year, on average. Humans, in contrast, annually kill about 20 to 30 million sharks, according to the Florida Museum of Natural History's Department of Ichthyology. That shark death estimate, based on commercial and sport fishing landings, could even be conservative. It is therefore not too difficult to see which species poses the greater threat to the other. After 400 million years of shark evolution, we could potentially wipe out the world's sharks in a century's time.” Polinchek says.
To prepare the public for swimming season, the department of water safety is releasing the following list of ways to prevent shark attacks.

1.) Stay in groups and do not wander away from your companions, since sharks are more likely to attack individuals.
2.) Avoid being in the water during early morning and late afternoon, since sharks actively feed at those times.
3.) Never go into the water if you are bleeding, even if the cut or injury is minor. Sharks possess very keen senses, and blood could attract one from several feet away.
4.) Don't wear shiny jewelry when in the water. The glisten mimics fish-scale sheen and visually labels you as shark prey.
5.) Stay away from sport or commercial fishermen when in the water, as their catches could attract sharks.
6.) Avoid wearing brightly colored clothing in murky waters, since sharks easily perceive color contrasts.
7.) Refrain from excessive splashing, which could mimic the movements of injured or disoriented prey fish and animals.
8.) Sandbars, steep drop-offs and estuary inlets tend to be shark hangouts, so avoid swimming in these places.

CLASSIFIEDS:

WANTED:
Someone to do yard work. Must have Hoolahoop. (555) 346-1652

Wanted to lease; Excellent hunting property with black bear population, away from the lying cheating asshole government cocksuckers. Needed for this season and possibly long term. Anywhere. (555) 567-2567

Seeking someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke, serious inquiries only. P.O. Box 342, Dark Ridge Post Office. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.


Missed connections:

Girl peeing in the woods - m4w - 23 - Northpointe
You were peeing in the woods behind the Northpointe Grill last night. Want to go bowling sometime?

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - w4w - Northpointe
We were at Pi Lounge, you were at the bar ordering a drink for you and a friend. I told you I liked your tattoo and you laughed. We talked for a few minutes.
I can't get your face out of my mind. If you're gay, or even open to the possibility of it I'd like to hook up.
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