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Dark Ridge Reporter: February 2015 Edition

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Dark Ridge Reporter: February 2015 Edition

Post by Admin on Fri Feb 13, 2015 3:06 pm

Explosion at the Rookwood Mall Food Court

Late Wednesday night, as the employees of the Rookwood Mall were closing down shop and getting ready to close their doors, they heard an explosion in the food court as the kitchen of “Sanjuki’s China Chef” exploded, blasting out the windows in half of the shops in the mall and resulting in at least 3 serious injuries.

When police and fire crews arrived on site, they found a cluster of people struggling to stand outside the Security Office, none of them seem to recall why they were there. Medical experts say that it is not uncommon for people who have just experienced an explosive force like the one they experienced to have concussive amnesia.

Police believe that the fire alarms went off and the employees and shoppers were trying to leave the mall when flames engulfed the kitchen at Sanjuki’s and forced them to try and escape. The explosion knocked them all back into the security office doorway, rendering them unconscious. 2 employees and 1 shopper have been taken to Rookwood Hospital for treatment.

The cause of the explosion is still under investigation, but preliminary reports indicate that a gas burner was not turned off properly and sparked the explosion when a short in the electrical wiring ignited the gasses.


Editorial: Surviving a chocolate shortage

“Strength is the capacity to break a Hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.”
― Judith Viorst, Love & Guilt & The Meaning Of Life, Etc
One gets a certain joie de vivre from the taste, scent and texture of chocolate.
We enjoy it when we feel jubilant, gorge on it when we feel sad, and dip strawberries in it at more amorous moments. It is hard to fathom a world without chocolate; no matter how healthy, broccoli simply won’t do. After all, no one makes movies about sensible vegetables. Willy Wonka and the Asparagus Factory? No. No. No.
But alas, the world, once awash in this sweet and bitter pleasure, is approaching a shortage because we’re eating too much of it, say chocolate makers Mars and Barry Callebaut. Last year, the world consumed more cocoa than growers could produce, and despite an unexpected crop of riches this year, demand outpaces supply. Together, European nations continue to consume the most chocolate, but the U.S. is a chocolate lover’s paradise, feasting on about one-third of the world’s inventory.
Experts point to several reasons for the desperate predictions. Drier weather in West Africa, the world’s cradle of cocoa growing, and a fungal disease are factors. So are the changing tastes of China, Brazil and India, where affection for the confection has soared in recent years — proof that you can’t keep a lid on good things forever. With shortage comes an economic consequence — melt-in-your-mouth chocolate is going to cost more for less. It’s a chocoholic’s nightmare.
CNBC reports that as cocoa prices climb toward record highs, chocolate makers might substitute cheaper ingredients, like palm oil or cottonseed oil, which could alter the taste. At the very least, candy bars that soldiers have used as currency or received as reminders of home could soon become luxury items. Countries like Switzerland and Belgium, known for their delicate chocolate-making touch, may be holding golden bars.
Where there is a will, there is a way, however. Scientists already are working on genetically modified chocolate, and, believe it or not, there is a cocoa genome database, a collaboration of several candy makers and university researchers to create new hardy strains. After all, this is a crisis, right? We’re glad we can count on science to ensure our supply of affordable cakes, candy bars, mousse, Easter bunnies, Valentine hearts, Halloween handouts and hot beverages with marshmallows on chilly days.
With a little trust, the world’s chocolate lovers should close their eyes, inhale deeply and calmly soldier on. We’ve endured shortages of coffee beans and, really, almost every other commodity. For the most part, markets eventually correct, so don’t panic quite yet. It is, however, a fine time to savor chocolate in all of its many delightful forms. We love our chocolate


Who are these men in Uniform?
If you’ve been to the Old church district in the past few weeks, you’ve probably noticed an increasing presence of men in what looks to be military uniform patrolling the streets and standing guard outside of both St. Catherine’s Cathedral  and St. Maria’s Catholic Girl’s School. But who are these men, and why are they here? (Reference: Something like this http://www.phagekt.org/megmbuchanan.jpg only they are all young, fit good looking men.)

A representative of the Church at St. Catherine’s tells us that they are “The Knights Templar”. Yes, for real. After the recent vandalism of St. Catherine’s and the destruction of their antique stained glass window, the church has stepped up security measures. The streets of Dark Ridge are now being patrolled by Templar Knights to help maintain order and cut back on vandalism and crime in the Old Church neighborhood and ensure the safety of the citizens who reside in those neighborhoods.

The presence of the Knights is not a welcome sight for all the citizens living in this neighborhood though, several residents report feeling like they are under martial law, being watched and judged for everything they do and are afraid to act natural for fear of reprisal from the church’s new guard.



Pet Blog: Kiss A Puppy On Valentine’s Day
Plan on being lonely this Saturday, aka Valentine’s Day? Got some extra dollar bills in your pocket?
Well, don’t go where I think you’re thinking of going.
Instead, head to Dark Ridge’s’ Carver Junk Company and get a sloppy kiss from a puppy for a buck!
Carver Junk is in cahoots with DR Pit Bull Rescue for their “Puppy Kissing Booth” fundraiser, which will feature several puppies up for adoption.
And it’s alright if you don’t come with adoption on your mind — your kissin’ dollars will be going to a great rescue organization.
And if you can’t make it at all, you can still donate to the cause online.
The event runs from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. at Carver Junk Company Dark Ridge, located at 4748 Oakland Ave.


Scamming the Faithful?
The recently opened New Dawn Church of Salvation has been closed down pending investigation into accusations made that the church is a cover story for a notorious Conman who is attempting to scam the citizens of Dark Ridge.
The Health Department has also been called in to investigate claims that their kitchen was serving spoiled food, causing the homeless population that ate there to contract Salmonella and other food borne illnesses.


CLASSIFIEDS:

Missed Connection: You discarded my rose (Feb. 14) - m4w
I saw you every day while walking to the DR Tram. Either on Sutter or on Powell. We always exchanged short glances or smiles. Or even an understated "G'morning."
Then, on Feb 13, I picked up the brightest yellow rose I could find, and spent the night mustering the gumption to give it to you.
Next morning, you looked as radiant as ever, making my heart skip a beat.
I pulled out the rose, flashed my schoolboy smile and said, "Happy Valentine's..."
In return, you exclaimed, "Eeeeeeee! Fuck you Taliban!" and stormed away.

Don't mean to be rude, but have you ever flipped through an atlas?


Hunting Club
So you want to join a hunting club? The Crippled Coon wants you!
The Crippled Coon Dog Hunting Club is now accepting members for 2014/2015 Season!
Our club is a "Dog" Hunting Club in Dark Ridge, NC.


For Sale: Art Studio Supplies
My mother recently passed away and she was a hoarder of art supplies. I have an entire room filled to the brim with paints, brushes, canvases, colored pencils, drawing pads, easles, frames, and mat boards. If you want any of it, get in touch with me, come look and we’ll talk prices.
Ask for Annie:
555-894-5134


Seekers of the truth
I invite you to seek the truth of past and future. Open your eyes to find the way.
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